kale chips

I know, I know; could it be any more cliché to talk about something like kale during the first week of January?  I think not.  However, regardless of whether they should be, dieting aspirations are not my motive.  Kale chips, if you’re me, are what happen when you spend too much time wandering Whole Foods and come home with a giant bunch of kale and then spend two days pondering what, exactly, you should do with it. Soup was definitely my first choice, and some kind of saute a close second – or maybe a braise.  These were noble ideas, but unfortunately the necessary physical impetus never swooped in to back up my mind’s conceptions.  Thus, kale chips.

Kale, sadly, has never been a staple ingredient in my kitchen.  It’s not that I necessarily had anything against it; it just wasn’t a food that called out to me.  I mean, look at it.  Sure, it has a nice color, but its leaves seem so big and bland.  They look rough, too – which is surely why they were served as a garnish on the restaurant dishes I remember as a kid, supporting lemon wedges and ramekins of tartar sauce, and were never included among the daintier salad greens.  My solution in the face of these skewed assumptions and ’80s fine-dining (ahem) memories was to simply avoid kale altogether (as usual).  Well, I only wasted precious time because those big, ‘rough’ leaves?  They can stand up to many methods of cooking.  And the unassuming ‘bland’ look?  Let me just say this: if you like the savory depth of flavor that roasted broccoli provides, you will love roasted kale.

Now, for a little game of Kale Chips Pros and Cons:

Cons:

• If you add freshly ground pepper to the leaves, they will burn and choke you when you eat them.
• The unavoidably loud crunching sound can be disruptive.
• The chips shatter uncontrollably when you bite into them, leaving tiny dark green shards all over your face, clothes, hands, lap, and floor.  I had to vacuum after eating them today.
• As the shards do to your external person, they will also do to the spaces between each and every tooth in your mouth.
• Due to the reasons above, kale chips are really only appropriate for eating in private.

Pros:

• Kale chips have a deeply savory flavor, almost like roasted broccoli or seaweed.
• They have the same satisfying crunch as potato chips.
• They are good for you.
• Kids, in my experience, love them and will  happily eat them.
• There are only three (cheap) ingredients.
• You can mindlessly eat as many as you want and not feel too bad afterward.

I think that just about covers everything I think and feel about kale chips.  And yes, your eyes read this page correctly; there was indeed a bullet-point list of the pros and cons of kale chips.  I’m aware that this makes me a little weird.  But, if you’ve been reading here long enough, you already knew that anyway.

Kale Chips

You can add freshly ground pepper to the leaves when you add the salt, but a little goes a long way.  Also, the curlier and bunchier the leaves, the more crispy crunching you’ll get to enjoy when you bite into them.

Ingredients

One bunch of kale, washed and thoroughly dried
Olive oil
Salt (I like Maldon sea salt, but kosher is fine, too)

Directions

Preheat oven to 250ºF.

Cut the large, thick stem out from the center of each leaf.  Tear or cut the leaves into smaller ‘chip’ sized pieces.  Place in a bowl and toss with  just enough olive oil to lightly coat; no more than a tablespoon.  I like to get my hands in the bowl and rub the oil onto each piece.  Spread leaves in a single layer on two baking sheets lined with foil for easy clean up.  Sprinkle with salt (and pepper, if you like).  Roast 25-30 minutes until dried and crisp, keeping an eye on them as they near the end of of cooking time to make sure they don’t burn.

Cool on sheets and store in an airtight container for up to a day or two.

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